No longer

I no longer need to wonder what it will be like to get old……I am old and have all the aches and pains to prove it.

I no longer need to wonder what it would be like to be fat…….I’ve put on twenty-five pounds since quitting smoking and I am fat.

I no longer feel the warmth and security of being surrounded by family……My dear parents have both died and my kids abandoned me years ago. I have no family.

I no longer wonder what my friends think of me……..I have no friends.

I no longer worry about what to do with all my money…………….I have none.

I no longer spend hours renovating my house…………..I have no house.

I no longer worry about repairs, insurance or gas for my car………….my beater car has been parked for months.

I no longer worry about fashion in clothes……………….I have not had money for clothes in years.

I no longer wonder what it’s like to be loved by someone special…………I have not been in love for a year.

I no longer wonder how it feels to have someone special in your life…………..I have been alone for a year.

I no longer marvel at the joys of where I live…………..I am stuck here, it seems, forever.

I no longer wake every day, impatient to get to work………….I haven’t worked since last year.

I know longer know why I am here.

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